


a shell (a home)

by lachesisgrimm (olga_theodora)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Don't copy to another site, F/M, Modern AU, Pining, Rey is thirsty, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, background Finn/Rose, ben is also thirsty he's just quieter about it, kylo the cat, tiny homes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:27:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21723733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olga_theodora/pseuds/lachesisgrimm
Summary: There were daffodils blooming alongside the road the day her newest neighbor moved into Takodana Mobile Home Park. Rey had absentmindedly noted the flowers when she left for work in the early morning, had passed right by Finn and Rose’s former slot with barely a glance as she sipped at her second cup of coffee. There had been nothing there, then, save weeds and nodding flowers and dirt.On her return, a tidy- and tiny- Craftsman on wheels waited, a sleek black car parked neatly beside.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 415
Kudos: 1036





	1. spring

**Author's Note:**

> Me: Fic monogamy, historically, works best for me. 
> 
> Also me: Ben Solo in a tiny house, though.
> 
> (If you are unfamiliar with tiny houses, a look at the youtube channel Living Big in a Tiny House will give you a good overview.)

There were daffodils blooming alongside the road the day her newest neighbor moved into Takodana Mobile Home Park. Rey had absentmindedly noted the flowers when she left for work in the early morning, had passed right by Finn and Rose’s former slot with barely a glance as she sipped at her second cup of coffee. There had been nothing there, then, save weeds and nodding flowers and dirt. 

On her return, a tidy- and tiny- Craftsman on wheels waited, a sleek black car parked neatly beside. Intrigued, Rey slowed her truck to a stop.

It was not the first tiny house to move into the neighborhood. There were and had been others- metal-lapped modern boxes, Victorian Gingerbreads in miniature, artsy cabins- and Rey, the resident jack-of-all-trades, had been inside all of them at least once. She found them intriguing, those miniature pieces of art, even if she occasionally joked with Maz about how they were gentrifying their compact park. Truth be told, Rey was often a little jealous of the owners. There was just something about the carefully planned layouts, the thoughtfully applied trim, the quirkiness of oddly-shaped windows that tugged at her heart and made her yearn for her own little traveling shell. One day, maybe (she often thought wistfully), she would build something similar that would be hers and hers alone, that she need only hitch to her truck and move to another location if a better opportunity arose. 

Someone passed by the windows as she lingered, moving too quickly for her to catch a glimpse of their face. 

_Come back._

The thought was surprising, and reminded Rey that she was sitting stock-still in the middle of the road, staring at a home that wasn’t hers. She moved on, a blush heating her cheeks. 

“Don’t be weird,” she muttered in a scolding tone. “One day they’ll need someone to fix a leak or patch their roof. You’ll get to see it then.”

And it would be interesting, to be sure, but it wouldn’t be hers, and she would leave with a handful of cash to pad the meager savings that would inevitably be used to fix her truck or the cavity she suspected lay on the lower left side of her mouth. 

She went home to her little rented trailer- bless Maz- and called herself content.

\- - -

_Patience,_ she told her burgeoning curiosity when day after day passed with no sight of her new neighbor. _It’s none of your business._

That mantra worked, kind of, for about a week, until one windy Saturday morning when she happened to look out her window at exactly the right moment and had to catch her breath. 

She hadn’t expected her new neighbor to be quite so… tall. 

Or broad-shouldered.

Or so incongruous with his expertly crafted home, which looked barely big enough for him to stand inside, let alone _live_ in. 

It was, Rey decided as her cup of coffee cooled in her hands, a real mystery.

And- to her annoyance- his mere presence became a real and distracting problem. 

\- - -

“Ben.”

Rey blinked, jerked from her (admittedly dirty) thoughts. “What?”

“His name is Ben Solo.” Maz took a pull from her beer, eyes sparkling. “Yon gentle giant.”

The man in question- who seemed to be less of a hermit than his first week of residency had implied, given the frequency Rey had seen him since- was unloading groceries from his car, dark hair rippling around his face. He hefted a bag of cat litter in one arm with such ease that Rey briefly envied the object.

“You are drooling.”

Rey, who had been fixing a leaky tap before catching sight of him through the kitchen window, bristled at Maz’s amused tone. “I am _not._ ”

Maz snorted. “If I were thirty years younger and unwed, I would show up at his door in lace nightie and nothing else.”

“Is that what Chewie likes?”

“That’s what Chewie _loves,_ thank you.”

“You are-”

Rey tried not to smile, tried not to encourage the older woman. “A- a dirty bird.”

Maz cackled. “I think you want that man to ruffle your tail feathers.”

“Maz.”

“Fertilize your eggs.”

Rey did crack a smile, at that. “You’re also a bad influence.”

She received a look in return that was far more insightful than Rey had expected, or- truth be told- wanted. “My girl,” Maz said seriously, “some are suited to the solitary life. They do best on their lonesome, with their cats or dogs or lizards. You want more.”

“I am perfectly fine, thank you.”

“You are not.” 

“I-”

_-have always been alone, will always be alone-_

“-have no time for dallying.”

“Uh-huh.” Maz picked at the label on her bottle, a knowing smile on her lips. “I’ve been alive long enough to know which men are fit for dallying and which will have a ring on your finger before the seasons make a full rotation, and that man is one of the latter. Go and introduce yourself.”

Rey snorted, her gaze fixed firmly on the tap. “Just because you matched up Rose and Finn doesn’t mean you can do the same for me.”

“I have a gift.” Maz took a drink, and then grinned. “And he needs a carpenter. I already told him that I knew the _perfect_ person for the job.”

“Maz.”

“So when you’re done with the tap, you should meander over there and let him murmur in your ear.”

“Anyone who murmurs in my ear on day one is going to get punched.”

Maz shrugged. “You might change your mind when you hear his voice. He’s a gentleman.”

And, Rey begrudgingly admitted to herself, she couldn’t afford to turn down work. The possibility of a cavity was beginning to feel damn near like a certainty.

“Okay, Maz,” Rey said after a moment, keeping her voice even. “Just don’t go picking out wedding gifts quite yet.”

“Okay.”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I, darling.”

\- - -

Ben Solo’s home had a minuscule front porch- large enough for one person to stand under the eaves and no more- and a small stained glass window set in the door. A falcon, Rey thought as she waited for an answer to her knock. Or some other bird of prey, perhaps. It was pretty, in an oddly fierce kind of way. 

She had much the same thought when the door opened and she got her first close-up look at Ben Solo, who filled up the entirety of the door-frame so naturally that she had to stop herself from blurting out _do you have to exit sideways?_ He looked like a prince, at close range. He looked like he could go from coaxing impressionable maidens into his bed to fighting off marauders in the space of seconds. He looked like he could toss her over his shoulders in a fireman’s carry and she’d enjoy every second.

“Are you Rey?”

_That_ voice, low and velvety, was fucking unfair coming from such a kissable mouth. “Yep!” She repressed a wince at how unnaturally bright she sounded. “Maz said you need a carpenter?”

He nodded, a lock of hair falling over his forehead, and in an unconscious gesture shoved the sleeves of his black henley above his elbows. His forearms were works of art. “Do you think you could build a catio?” 

The fact that he said the words in utter seriousness was as endearing as hell. “I think so.”

“Because Kylo- my cat- he’s unsettled.” Ben’s tone shifted to almost grumpy, but the underlying softness told Rey a great deal. “And spoiled.”

“The best cats are.” 

He backed away from the door, gesturing her in. “He also has no qualms about demanding affection from strangers, so…”

“I like cats; it’s not a problem.” 

Tiny houses, so often built to spec, had a tendency to reflect their owners. Ana, whose home was made of salvaged wood and fixtures, favored piles of pillows over actual furniture. Sammy’s home had been just as modern inside as it was out. A couple that had left the year before had favored country chic and gingham. 

Ben’s home- Ben’s home did not fit him. In size and in style it appeared to have been constructed with someone else in mind, someone who stood no taller than six feet and enjoyed white shiplap. Someone who could sit up in the sleeping loft without their head brushing the skylight. Kaydel, who lived two rows over, would love it. Even so, it was beautifully and thoughtfully made save for the crudely installed kitchen countertop, which stuck out like a sore thumb amidst every other smooth join and neat corner. Perhaps, after appeasing his spoiled cat, he would ask her to fix the feature. 

“I was thinking of building it around that window,” he explained, pointing toward the frame behind the couch. “Taking out the screen.”

“You don’t want to add a door?”

“He won’t fit through the standard ones.”

As if on cue, the biggest cat Rey had ever seen slipped out from some hidden spot to saunter across the polished hardwood floors. Peridot-green eyes fixed on her with interest before the feline began to sniff at the hem of her jeans, a plumy black tail flicking in the air. 

“You said a cat.”

Ben’s mouth twitched into a small smile. “Kylo is a cat.”

“Kylo appears to be half-panther.” He butted his head against her calf, and Rey had the thought that he could do real damage if he had a mind to do so. “Where did you find him? The zoo?”

“Under my parents’ back porch. He was the size of my palm.”

Her gaze shifted briefly to Ben’s hands, large and strong. “He’s grown a bit.”

“With a vengeance. And he misses the screened-in porch from my last place, so…”

“Right.” With a businesslike air Rey pulled out a notebook, turning her mind toward matters of materials and dimensions. “How much does he weigh?”

“Twenty-four pounds.”

Rey didn’t doubt that, not at all. She made a note to invest in the strongest screen she could find. “I’ll need cash for materials up front, once I price everything, and for labor-”

“I’ll pay you three thousand.”

She blinked, sure she had misheard him or, perhaps, suddenly begun to hallucinate. Kylo sprang up onto the couch soundlessly, taking over more than half of it. “What?”

“Half with the cost of materials, half after installation.”

For a moment- a wild, breathless moment- Rey very nearly accepted. It was a ridiculous amount of money, a _pay the dental bill_ kind of money, a _very rainy day_ kind of money. 

Her better self came to the fore. “It’s not a three thousand dollar job,” she said crisply, before she could change her mind. “It’s not even a thousand dollar job. I was thinking five. Hundred.”

Ben bit his lower lip, face taking on a mulish cast. “Maybe I think he’s a three thousand dollar cat.”

“Do you always argue with people who don’t want to overcharge you?”

He huffed a laugh, taking a step back to lean against the counter that was too short for him. “My father was a carpenter,” he informed her, a tic in his jaw. “It’s skilled labor.”

“I’m not professionally trained. Or licensed.”

“I don’t care.” His expression unexpectedly shifted to something that verged on shy flirtation, and when he next spoke his voice had dropped to a murmur. “You know I can pay as much as I like.”

Rey burst out laughing, scribbling _ballsy as fuck_ right below an entry reading _double layer chicken wire?_ “All right,” she said, flashing him a sharp smile. “Cash only- and as a bonus, I’ll fix that botched countertop.”

She offered to make herself feel better, more or less, and because the longer she stood in the small space the more the imperfection annoyed her. _You have a fixing soul,_ Maz had told her once, and she hadn’t been wrong. Rey would still be making out like a bandit, even with the extra labor- but Ben’s face went utterly blank, and she knew that somehow she had made an error. 

“No.” He said the word politely, but without even a hint of his former warmth. “No. Just the catio.”

“Right. Well.” Rey pulled a tape measurer from one pocket, noting that Kylo’s ears were pinned back, as if he were picking up on Ben’s mood. “I’ll take some measurements, then.”

“Let me know when you have a quote on materials.”

“Of course.”

And even though it had begun to drizzle outside, Rey jumped at the chance to escape into the damp. 

\- - -

“This is for what, exactly?”

“A catio.”

Finn hefted a load of wood into the bed of her truck, one brow raised. “That would be…”

“An outdoor enclosure for cats, Finn.”

“Right.” 

Rey thought of the fifteen hundred-dollar bills tucked neatly away in her trailer, each one smooth and crisp. On accepting them she had damn near considered painting the project in gold leaf. “He’s a big cat.”

“Uh-huh.”

“His owner loves him very much.”

“And his owner is…?”

She kept her tone light, dismissive. “A guy named Ben.”

“ _Oh._ ” To her surprise Finn nodded, a sly grin crossing his face. “Mr. Understanding, Gentle, and Tall.”

Rey groaned, barely managing not to kick a tire. “Maz.”

“Rose and I met her for dinner, had a nice chat. She’s determined to pair you off.”

Rey shoved the bundle of heavy-duty screen into place. “She’s just riding high on her previous success.”

“Rose and I were half in love by the time Maz started meddling; we didn’t need too much of a push. You, though.” Finn took hold of the empty cart, looking Rey straight in the eyes. “You’re a challenge- and you know how much Maz loves a challenge.”

“I also know how much she misses her kids, and that I’m a handy substitute.” She said the words teasingly, for all that they stung to voice aloud. “In a week she’ll decide that Bazine would be a better match for him instead, and I can move on with my life.”

And if it also stung to imagine Ben’s muscled arms wrapped around someone else- well, that was just lust, plain and simple. 

Finn looked rather annoyed. “You’re not a substitute. You’re not a substitute for anyone.”

“Thank you, but-”

“You’re _amazing._ ”

She was touched, but she didn’t show it. “Finn.”

“Anyone would be damn lucky to have you as a partner. Or a friend. I fucking am.”

“You’re sweet.” And more loyal than anyone she knew, which was a precious quality to Rey. “But I need you to calm down. I’ve been hired to build a cat enclosure. That’s _it._ ”

Finn dipped his head in a sharp nod, not offering a word in return- but after, when they were driving back toward her home and she thought the subject had been completely dropped, he spoke up. “Rey?”

“Yeah?”

“Just… you deserve someone understanding and gentle. Of any height. So keep that in mind.”

She allowed herself a smile. “Okay, Finn.”

\- - - 

The trailer Rey rented from Maz had last seen major updates in the 1980s (hence the below market rent) and consisted of one bedroom, one cramped bath, and a kitchen/living room that she treated more like a studio apartment. Better to sleep on the couch and use the bedroom as a workshop than a more traditional set-up, Rey felt. At the very least it kept sawdust out of her food during the occasions when someone wanted a table refinished or a bookshelf built, and leaving the windows open allowed for airflow even if it left her chilled or over-heated.

Measuring twice before making every cut, Rey worked in the dim hours of early evening, keeping only her sole day off as sacrosanct. Sundays were for sleeping-in and laundry and reading her library books, and nothing- not Plutt, not a muscled neighbor, not even a charming cat- interrupted that routine.

(Except when it did, Rey acknowledged wryly, for there was often some inevitable emergency to disturb her peace- but cash was cash, and not something to be turned down.)

What she built was essentially an overgrown window box: tall enough for Kylo to stretch and jump to a built-in perch; more than sturdy enough for his size so that it wouldn’t shift from the wall. Painted white to match the house’s trim, with heavy-duty screens lying flat and taut. When it was done, Rey stepped back to consider it with a critical eye. 

“Maybe I should advertise these,” she mused aloud, and laughed. “Rey Thompson, Catio Carpenter- the next HGTV sensation.”

A giddy little fantasy, and one she dwelt on guiltily for a handful of moments- but then she looked around the small room, at her second-hand tools and the tarp-covered carpet, and felt herself return to earth. It was just wood and wire and nails. Well-made, but nothing revolutionary; just a copy of something she had seen on-line. 

Still. One large cat would take pleasure in it, and maybe that was enough. 

She left the room to wash up for supper, flicking off the lights. 

\- - -

Rey was confident in her abilities, but Ben’s reaction to her offer to fix the countertop had left her uneasy at the thought of accidentally damaging the siding during installation. Marring that blueish-gray paint, the sanded wood- it had kept her up the night before, palms sweating as she tossed and turned. 

She needn’t have worried. The catio fit exactly as it should, Ben holding the box even without a single wobble as Rey drilled each screw smoothly into place. Once done, the structure looked as if it had always been there, as if the original architect had always intended to add such an expansion. 

Kylo, ears flicking, took his first step into his new domain. 

“Perfect.” Ben, in a red flannel shirt that she wanted to steal for herself, stood with his hands tucked easily into his pockets. “I think he likes it.”

“He’ll be waking you up at three am to open the window.”

“Probably.” He sounded at peace with the possibility, and tugged a thick wad of cash from his pocket without even a hint of regret. “Thank you.”

She wrapped her fingers around the bundle, thinking. “You know,” Rey said slowly after a moment, “you helped with the labor.”

“Don’t.”

“I just-”

“Try to give me back any of that money and I’ll never talk to you again.”

It sounded like a threat, and from anyone else Rey might have reacted by rolling her eyes and making a dry joke. Instead she tucked away her pay, feeling as if- in some odd way- continuing to argue would hurt his feelings.

“I’m pretty good at plumbing, too,” she offered instead, watching from the corner of her eye. She was rewarded by the slight upward curve of his mouth. “And cars. Pretty much anything that involves a hammer or a wrench.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“You should. I’m the best in the area.”

A slight exaggeration, perhaps, but not entirely undeserved, especially if the area in question was one square mile. He crossed his arms, still smiling crookedly. “How do you feel about lemonade?”

For a moment Rey said nothing, trying to decide if his offer was in any way dangerous. Gut instinct said _no,_ and she settled in a lawn chair outside his home, meeting his gaze full-on. “Pretty damn positive.”

The lemonade- in a tall glass, topped with a sprig of mint leaves- was hand-squeezed, and lust began to shift a little bit toward love.


	2. summer

Dentists- and Rey had known this, but had never really suffered for the fact- booked up months in advance. It was nearly June by the time her appointment rolled around, the dread she felt over the prospect not quite outweighed by her eagerness to be done with the matter. Needles had always sent her into a panic attack, for as long as Rey could remember, and even if she had eventually learned how to mask that panic with blank-faced stoicism (foster parents and case workers not always being the most sympathetic to her fear), the experience still made her heart race and her mouth taste of iron. 

But. Some things- filling cavities, receiving tetanus boosters- were necessary evils. Unfortunately.

Finally, it was done, and as Rey counted out a large portion of her carefully hoarded cash she found it within herself to bless Ben Solo for his ridiculous generosity. Blessed a little shakily, to be fair, but that had everything to do with her numb, cotton-packed mouth and nothing to do with the actual man. The man who treated her with quiet, neighborly politeness but had never shown another hint of that brief flirtation from their first meeting.

Which was fine. Perfectly fine. _Absolutely_ fine, and really, Ben’s current penchant for wearing tight t-shirts as the days warmed was just as good as flirting.

_Better,_ Rey told herself as she stuffed her change into one pocket, giving the receptionist a lopsided smile of farewell. _Uncomplicated and far, far better._

And maybe her fingers and vibrator didn’t come close to satisfying the need for heat and weight and Ben’s voice in her ear (Maz had been right, much to her annoyance), but lonely was safe. Safer.

Still- after driving home and parking in her usual spot- she cast a glance toward Ben’s home, catching sight of Kylo lounging in dignified splendor on the first level of the catio. On a maudlin whim she meandered in that direction, thinking only to say a mumbled hello to the cat and maybe catch a glimpse of his owner through the open window. 

Kylo blinked at her slowly as she approached, large front paws flexing lazily against the sturdy outdoor carpet she had installed on the bottom level. “Hey,” she said quietly, the greeting barely comprehensible. Kylo merely blinked again, one ear flicking. She couldn’t see Ben behind him, but could hear him moving around in the galley kitchen. Pressing her fingers lightly against the screen, Rey allowed herself one last look at sunlight playing over long black fur before turning away, intent on rewarding bravery with an afternoon nap. 

“Rey?”

She had missed the sound of footfalls, tired as she was. Looking over her shoulder, she found Ben on the other side of the window, peering out at her through the screen. “Are you okay?”

Rey lifted one shoulder in a weak shrug, and then pointed at the swollen side of her mouth. “Cavity,” she mumbled, and gestured at Kylo. “Came to say hi.”

Was she drooling? She might be, a little, and mentally kicked herself for not going directly home. 

Ben’s expression turned sympathetic. She noticed, for the first time, a tattoo peeking out beneath a sleeve of his t-shirt, but couldn’t determine much beyond that. “I hate the dentist. My mother dragged me kicking and screaming, as a kid. I drag myself, now.”

She did her best to smile. “Nice.”

“Would you-”

He hesitated briefly. “Would you like some pudding?” A pink flush swept over his cheeks, and she wished she could examine the phenomenon at closer range. “I picked some up at the store yesterday; had a weird craving.”

Rey felt a sweet, unexpected pang in her chest. “Don’t want to deprive you.” 

“It was on sale. I bought too much.”

She wondered if he was routinely this generous with people, or if she had a knack for wandering into his path at exactly the right time. Either way, she wasn’t in the mood to turn down free pudding. “Okay.”

Rey had expected a box of instant, or maybe a snack pack- but instead he met her at the door with a small, unopened tub of chocolate pudding that looked far fancier than pudding had a right to be. She gave it a wide-eyed look when he placed it in her hands, flustered.

“Chocolate okay?” he asked, actually sounding worried. 

“Yeah.” She managed a crooked smile. “Thanks.”

“Do you need aspirin, or…?”

“No, I have some.” And she would need it soon enough, as the numbness began to wear off. “Gonna go rest.”

“If you need anything else, let me know.”

She was fairly certain that was a genuine offer, and wasn’t sure what to make of it- or what, if anything, to say. Instead she ducked her head in a nod, leaving him behind.

The pudding, when she got around to eating it after her nap, tasted amazing- and if she guiltily entertained the thought of licking said pudding off of Ben’s chest, she was only human.

\- - -

Two weeks later, Ben knocked at her door on a Sunday afternoon, a pizza balanced on one palm. _My new favorite porn trope,_ came the wild, dizzying thought as Rey took him in, biting the inside of one cheek to stop herself from blurting out something unfortunate. 

“Any chance you could be bribed with food and some cash?”

She blinked at the question, at the way his expression was almost sheepish. “Kind of depends, but I’m open to a negotiation.”

“My AC is on the fritz. I’m worried about Kylo overheating.”

And given the heatwave predicted for the next few days, his concern was valid. “I can definitely take a look,” Rey said, and turned with the intent of fetching her toolbox. “If I can’t fix it, I have a fan you can borrow.”

Her only one, but Rey was used to heat. She’d be uncomfortable, but she’d live.

“I’ll buy my own, if that’s the case, but eat first. It’s still hot.” 

He sounded as if he wouldn’t be taking no for an answer, which was how Rey ended up sitting side by side with him on her couch, off-brand Coke in two glasses on the coffee table in front of them. “When did it stop working?” she asked between bites, trying not to make a happy little hum as she chowed down on pepperoni and extra cheese.

“Not sure.” He ate at a slower pace, each bite neat. “It worked yesterday, but the evening was cool enough that I only used the overhead fan. Now it turns on but you can barely feel anything.”

She could think of a few reasons for that, and judged her chances of fixing it to be reasonably good. And even if she couldn’t- well. Pizza.

It was the first time she had been back in his home since their initial meeting, and it was just as tidy as she remembered. Kylo slumbered on the couch in a spill of light, ignoring their entrance. Ben must, Rey thought for not the first time, spend half his time sweeping up loose fur. 

To her relief, the unit was a type she was familiar with: a ductless mini-split, perfectly suited to heating or cooling a few hundred square feet. A quick inspection gave her the answer she had been hoping for. “The condenser is dirty,” she told him, her tone reflecting just how pleased she was by the fact. “An easy fix; I just need to clean it out. Shouldn’t take me long.”

“ _Thank_ you.”

After a few minutes Rey felt gentle pressure against her leg. Looking down, she found Kylo staring up at her, the bulk of his body leaning against her calf. “Supervising?” she asked him, hearing Ben mutter a curse and come up behind her. 

“Sorry.” He picked up the cat, the back of his hand brushing against her jeans. “He’s nosy.”

“I don’t mind.” Ben, his arms full of a purring Kylo, was a truly pleasurable sight. “He wasn’t bothering me.”

“He was working up to it.” 

The job, as she had promised him, was quick, and not too much later the unit was quietly pumping out cool air once again. “It just needs to be cleaned out every once in a while. I could teach you how, if you like.”

“But then I couldn’t interrupt your day off,” he replied with a straight face, letting Kylo jump back down to the floor.

“Ah, but you wisely offered the best possible peace offering: food.” 

They exchanged a grin, his endearingly shy. “Would you be offended if I offered you a beer?”

“Not at all.” 

The bottle, when he produced it- fancy again, some kind of imported lager- came with three hundred-dollar bills. She tucked the latter into her pocket with only a mild “Generous.”

Ben shrugged, taking a seat on the other side of the built-in couch- which, like the rest of the house, was just a little too small for him. “Where do you work?”

“Over at the salvage yard on the west side of town.” She took a sip, and was pleased with what she found. “I strip parts from old machines and fix them up, mostly.”

He looked at her in a way that hinted at admiration. “You’re good at seeing the potential in things, then.”

“I’m good with junk,” Rey corrected, a flutter in her stomach. “It’s a gift.”

_A birthright,_ she nearly joked, but choked the words down. They would take too much explaining.

Ben averted his gaze, cheeks pink as he considered the label on his own bottle with more attention that it was due. “What about you?” she asked, breaking the silence. 

“Uh, grant writer.” He sat up straighter, taking a sip of his beer. “For the local nature conservancy, mainly.”

“An environmentalist. Nice.”

“Atonement for past sins.” He smiled slightly, though the expression held little amusement. “I used to work for Snoke, Maul, and Palpatine.”

Rey froze, staring at him in disbelief. “The oil corporation?”

“Yes.”

“The ones that spilled a fuck-ton of oil in the Atlantic and managed to skate by with a slap on the wrist? Twice?”

“I was an idiot in my twenties.”

“Huh.” She sat back, considering him. He couldn’t be much older than twenty-eight, twenty-nine, and didn’t fit her image of a corporate shill. Maybe a sharp suit would make the difference. “And now, of course, at your advanced age you’ve seen the error of your ways.”

Ben went back to examining the label. “A lot changed after I turned thirty. There were things I couldn’t ignore anymore, so… so I left. That was a year ago.”

They were roughly ten years apart in age, then, which didn’t bother Rey at all. “That was a brave thing to do.” And somewhat explained, she supposed, his mode of living. 

“It felt like the only thing to do.” Ben paused, then added in a quieter voice, “My father died a few months after I left. It was worth it, just to hear him say that he was proud of me.”

There was sorrow, there, and guilt, and too much of both. “I’m sorry.”

“Thank you.” He took another drink, and then turned his gaze back to her. “Are you from Takodana?”

Relieved at the change in topic, she shook her head. “No, I’m from nowhere.”

Kylo jumped up between them as Ben chuckled, the cat barely fitting into the available space. “Everyone’s from somewhere.”

Rey smirked. “Jakku.”

“Ah.” Sly humor appeared on his face. “I apologize; you really are from nowhere. How did you end up here?”

“I wanted adventure in the great wide somewhere,” Rey said, deadpan, and then broke into a smile. “Actually, it was the cheapest bus ticket.”

“Fair.” 

And she had been tired of living under Plutt’s thumb. Teedo was not the best of bosses, but he was sunshine incarnate compared to Plutt. “It’s nice here, though. Green.” Rey resisted the teasing urge to nudge him in the side, burying the fingers of one hand into Kylo’s fur, instead. “I hope you can keep it that way.”

“I’ll do my best.”

It sounded like a promise, and a surprisingly personal one. 

_He just cares about the watershed,_ she told herself firmly, and finished her beer. 

\- - -

He made a habit of showing up at her door on Sundays, after that, and usually when she was still sleepy from an afternoon nap, her hair tousled and stomach just beginning to growl. He always brought something with him: pizza, burritos, half the menu from the local Chinese place. They would sit in the shade when the weather was good, eating their way through his offerings and talking about books and movies. On the one occasion it rained Ben held an umbrella over her head as they darted toward his home, where they ate standing as Kylo begged from the eyesore of a counter. 

Rey used his bathroom, on that visit, and when she came back to the main room she was grinning. “How do you fit in that shower?”

“I kneel, mostly,” Ben replied dryly, spreading brie on a hunk of baguette. Rey did not want to know how much he had spent on charcuterie and fancy cheese for this particular get-together, and definitely did not want to know the price of the wine they were drinking. “My knees hate it.”

Their friendship- Rey thought it was friendship- had given her fantasies a guilty edge, but she still couldn’t stop herself from imagining Ben on his knees in front of her, hands pushing her thighs apart. She crammed a wadded piece of prosciutto into her mouth, blushing. 

“At least the bathroom is plumbed,” he muttered. “Some of the ones I’ve seen…”

“What, you don’t want to live the composting toilet life?” she teased after hastily swallowing. 

Ben actually shuddered. “ _No._ Dealing with the litter box is bad enough.”

Rey took her time layering brie and fig jam on a piece of bread, side-stepping to avoid Kylo’s questing paw. “Is this small footprint thing part of your atonement?”

He didn’t answer immediately, the silence stretching on long enough that a prickle of warning rippled down her spine. “No,” Ben said finally. “And yes. It’s difficult to explain.”

And he didn’t want to be pressed on the matter, that much was clear. Rey nodded, uncharacteristically nibbling at her bread before saying, “Either way, I’m glad you’re here. It’s nice to have…”

When she hesitated, he finished for her. “A friend?”

The words that had been on the tip of Rey’s tongue, embarrassingly close to being said, had been _a dream._

Because he was, and in more ways than the purely physical. She now found herself thinking of what it might be like to hold his hand, or tell him about her childhood, or drink coffee with him at a shared table in the quiet morning hours. To know and trust him on a level she reserved for no one other than herself.

“I’m glad to have a friend.”

There was a faint stress placed on the last word, and Rey- attuned to minor shifts in tone as a means of self-defense- felt the ache of a bruised heart as she interpreted his meaning. A friend, and no more. They would have these casual afternoons, the camaraderie of shared meals, and when one of them inevitably moved away the memories would be fond and fade quickly.

Rey could be just a friend. Shoving aside one more unrealized dream (and oh, she had had so many), she offered him the brightest and best smile she could muster. “Me, too.”

\- - -

“How’s Puddin’?”

Rey fiercely regretted ever letting slip Ben’s kindness, especially now that their relationship had been set so firmly into one particular box. “His name is Ben, and he’s fine.”

“He is fine,” Rose agreed dryly. “Maz introduced me to him when I visited yesterday, and ‘fine’ is an understatement.” She tucked one leg underneath her on the couch, pulling up their chosen movie for the evening. “I nearly got a crick in my neck, looking up at him.”

“Ben is very tall.” Rey kept her tone even, unremarkable. “Do you have any popcorn?”

“In the usual spot.”

Ten minutes later- popcorn nearly gone, tensions already rising amongst the sorority girls who had picked the wrong lake cabin for spring break- Rose said idly, “I recognized his house.”

It took Rey a moment to follow her line of thought, and by the time understanding came Rose already had her tablet in hand, pulling up her instagram feed. “I got a peek at the stained glass on the door. It’s by Solo Nests.”

The screen, when Rey accepted the tablet, was filled with picture after picture of tiny homes in varying states of construction- and there, at the top, was Ben’s Craftsman. Pictures of the frame, of the unfinished sides and roof, of freshly laid in trim and gleaming paint; a progression of photos over the course of several months. She worked her way backwards as layer after layer was stripped away until only the base remained, and then returned to the last photo posted some nine months before. It featured a grizzled, slyly grinning older man, one hand placed proudly on a half-installed kitchen cabinet.

“All of their houses have that stylized falcon,” Rose was saying. “There was one a while back-”

Rey barely noticed how Rose broke off, barely noticed the concern in her voice when she spoke again. “What is it?”

Pieces- theories, really- slid into place, hinting at a greater mystery.

Or maybe not. Maybe it wasn’t a mystery at all. Ben had hinted at a reconciliation, had admitted that his father was dead, and Rey didn’t need to see the name ‘Han Solo’ at the top of the screen to know who she was staring at. There were hints of Ben himself in the other man’s face, in the way he held himself. 

_It’s difficult to explain,_ Ben had said, and she was beginning to see why, and why he might not want to talk about the fact that he was living in what may well be the last home his father had ever built.

_And I,_ Rey thought, guilt souring her stomach, _called his countertop botched._

Perhaps Han had begun the installation and had been unable to finish, or perhaps Ben had finished the job himself. Either way, her offer had been unintentionally cruel.

“Rey?”

Blinking back tears, Rey handed back the tablet. “You’re right,” she told Rose, straining to keep her voice even. “That’s his house.”

And Rey wasn’t going to say a damn word about it, not to him or anyone else. 

That was what a friend would do.


	3. fall

“I am not coming up there.”

Kylo stared down at her from the loft, eyes bright. 

“Look,” Rey said as firmly as she could manage, lips very nearly curling into a smile, “I told Ben I would _try_ to brush you while he was gone. Key word being ‘try’.”

And she would _not_ be crawling up into the loft just to fulfill that one particular promise, because in that way lay madness. Rey was happy to be Ben’s friend, she truly was, but sitting on his bed would really deal a blow to her commitment to no longer fantasizing about him. No more thoughts of how he might kiss or fuck or cuddle, of what it would feel like to run her fingers through his hair, of whether or not he might one day want children with freckles and hazel eyes. No more dreams, even if their absence left Rey feeling peculiarly empty. Hollow.

It would pass, eventually. It had to, because she valued his friendship too much to upend their entire relationship over her silly crush. What she had with Ben felt different from the friendship she shared with Finn, or with Rose: there was a different depth to Ben’s friendship, a depth that was both softer and deeper. Rey had never experienced anything like it.

With a huff she moved into the kitchen, intent on doling out Kylo’s evening meal before she gave in to temptation. Behind her was a thump followed by a yowl, the latter sounding more like annoyance than anything more troubling. “Ben said he wasn’t free-feeding you.”

Kylo disagreed with that, and strenuously. Beside her he stood on his back legs, front paws easily reaching the countertop. 

“He also said you would lie to me.”

A quiet, wounded meow. The cat was too smart by half. 

She placed the bowl on the floor, then freshened his water bowl as Kylo began to eat with surprising daintiness. After dealing with his litter box (set in a nook meant, Rey suspected, to house a washer and dryer), she returned to find that he had retreated back to the loft, food barely touched. 

“Please tell me you aren’t pining.”

Kylo blinked dismissively.

“Because Ben won’t be back for two more days, and he won’t be pleased if you look like a wraith.”

Nothing. The cat rolled to his side, paws peeking over the edge.

“There he is, off saving nature while you starve-”

A stretch, given Kylo’s heft. 

“-sending me into a tizzy of worry over your fragile, baby boy self.”

One paw flexed, and Rey gave up with a sigh. She knew he was just being, basically, _a cat,_ and his behavior was in no way worrisome, but Ben had trusted her with his home and his pet and his spare key and she felt as if she were failing the most important of the three. Grumbling, she climbed up the ladder until her upper body was leaning into the sleeping loft, Kylo within reach. She went no further.

“Pleased with yourself?”

Kylo rolled onto his back, paws tucked close to his chest and eyes glittering. He would rabbit-kick her arm if she tried to touch him, and she didn’t want to know if the attack would be in play or genuine. Her gaze slipped guiltily beyond the cat to the mattress, at the dark gray of the comforter and sheets. Smart, given Kylo’s coloring. She reached out, fingering a fold of comforter briefly (soft, so soft; this same set had probably once made up the bed in whatever swanky apartment had come before), and then snatched her hand away and scurried back down the ladder with a mumbled “Don’t be a creep.”

When she came back in the morning before leaving for work, every bit of food was gone- and when Kylo refused to come down from the loft, she didn’t set a single finger on that ladder. 

\- - -

Maz knocked on her door the morning before Thanksgiving, pulling Rey from one of her rare non-Sunday lie-ins. Teedo closed the yard the week of Thanksgiving, as well as the week of Christmas. The free time was balanced by the loss of two weeks pay, but Rey was generally content to ration her meals in exchange for two entire weeks of rest- and thanks to Ben (and his running toilet tank earlier in the month), this year Rey had a full fridge. 

“My father was always undercharging people,” he had said that last time as he pressed a wad of bills into her hand. “And I have an obscene amount of money from polluting the oceans, so…”

There had also been a proper meal waiting for her after she had finished the job, one that came with built-in entertainment as Kylo voiced his feelings on the scent of roast chicken filling the space. They had been forced to eat standing (Kylo’s reach was worthy of Inspector Gadget), but the inconvenience hadn’t bothered Rey a whit. Especially not when Kylo had scampered up into the loft and swiped at Ben’s head, forcing him to duck close enough for a kiss. 

She hadn’t, of course. And he hadn’t. The moment had been as delicious as it was painful, his eyes briefly catching hers with a look she couldn’t quite define before pulling away, into the open space of the living room.

“Rey.” Maz looked surprisingly worried, in a way that nearly had Rey reaching for the walking stick she kept on hand as a makeshift weapon. “Have you talked to Ben?”

Rey blinked, still half-asleep and now off-kilter. “Ben?”

“Ben.” There was no joking to Maz’s tone, and that, more than anything, dissipated the last of Rey’s fatigue. “Kylo is damn near _throwing_ himself at the window facing my home, and-”

And that was enough. Rey whirled to rummage through the drawer where she kept everything important (“Keep it,” Ben had said when she tried to return his key. “I might lose mine.”), and when the key was secure in her hand she darted past Maz to run in socked feet across freezing ground, dressed only in ancient sweatpants and a sweater worn thin. She paused on the porch, just long enough to take in a breath and knock on the door. No answer- but there wouldn’t be, because she only allowed for a handful of seconds before the key was already in the lock. 

Rey barely had the door shut before Kylo was winding around her ankles, meows plaintive. She could smell the contents of his litter box, which was unusual for Ben’s general level of fastidiousness. “Where is he?” she asked the cat as if he could possibly answer her, and was rewarding with Kylo bolting forward to stand beside the couch. 

Obvious, she realized. The home was a straight shot; anywhere other than the loft was within her line of sight. Unhesitatingly she scurried up the ladder, kneeling at the end of the bed. “Ben?”

Nothing. She crawled forward onto the mattress itself, finally seeing his face peeking out from under a pile of blankets. He was paler than normal, sweat gathered along his hairline, and when she pressed a tentative hand to his forehead she wasn’t surprised to find that he blazed with heat. “Fuck,” Rey muttered, feeling utterly at sea. 

She had never cared for anyone. She cared for herself when ill, out of necessity, but other people- well, she had never been given a chance to learn that skill. 

Rey didn’t even need to seriously consider the matter before knowing that she couldn’t leave him, or Kylo. They needed someone with a clear head at hand, who could climb a ladder while carrying a mug of broth at the same time- though it would be better if she could maneuver Ben to the first floor. 

Somehow. 

He nuzzled into her hand suddenly, eyes opening slightly. “Rey.”

“Hey.” All attentive, she bent toward him, her other hand brushing damp hair away from his face. “Caught a touch of the flu, huh?” 

“Sucks,” Ben muttered, lips brushing against her palm. “Feed Kylo? Then go.”

Fighting with him would be pointless, so Rey would simply disobey. She had bribed herself a month before with a dozen donuts from the local shop in order to face down her flu vaccine, so she wasn’t too worried about her own health- and even if that hadn’t been the case, she still would have stayed. 

“Of course,” she told him soothingly. “Of course.”

Instead she held a whispered conference with Maz on the porch, took care of all of Kylo’s needs, and cracked the catio window to let in a little fresh air. 

And then she pulled the futon mattress from his couch, lying it out on the floor. 

\- - -

Ben grumbled when he woke up and realized she was still there, heating up soup from a local deli courtesy of Maz. He climbed down the ladder himself, much to Rey’s relief, slouching past her into the bathroom, where she heard him half-heartedly cursing as he showered. 

“You didn’t have to clean up for me,” she told him when he came back out in new clothing, shivering. His black sweatpants and sweatshirt looked practically couture next to hers. He grunted, standing just out of reach as he watched her stir. “Give me a minute and I’ll pull those blankets down from the loft. Clever to keep a guest bed on the main level.”

“Rey-”

“You can sleep there, and not risk your neck on that ladder every time you need something.”

He was swaying, a little, when she looked up. “Lay down, Ben. If you faint the floor will probably crack.”

One corner of his mouth quirked upward in a hint at a smile. He moved away, settling on one of the small chairs at the equally small table. Kylo immediately colonized the space, butting Ben in the chest. “I know,” Ben murmured, voice raspy. “Rey feed you?”

“Rey did,” she answered calmly, selecting a bowl from a cabinet. “Rey also wouldn’t have known you needed help if Kylo hadn’t been frantically bashing at one of the windows. Call me, next time. Or text.”

“You shouldn’t have to deal with this.”

She took the three steps needed to cross to the table, handing him the thermometer that Maz had also picked up. “Take your temperature.” 

100.7. Better than Rey had been expecting, after the way she had found him, but not good by any means. Carrying a bowl of soup to the table- bone broth thick with shredded chicken and fresh egg noodles- she fixed Kylo with a stern look. “None of your nonsense for once, if you please.”

Amazingly the cat jumped down to the floor, where he sat with his majestic tail curved neatly around his body. “Witchcraft,” Ben muttered as she set the bowl in front of him, and picked up the spoon in a not-quite-steady hand. “You can go home.”

“In a bit.” She would see him settled, first, phone close at hand in case he needed her in the middle of the night. “There’s more soup in the fridge, and crackers on the counter, and-”

“Did you buy all this?”

Rey shrugged and told him half the truth. “Maz did.”

And Rey had insisted on refunding her when the older woman returned, leaving Ben just long enough to pull the needed cash from her own stores. He nodded slowly, and then ate another bite of soup. “Thank you. And her.”

She sat down across the table, hands folded on her lap. “Can I call anyone for you?”

“No.”

“Then I’ll be checking in on you until you’re back on your feet.” 

“You don’t have to.”

“I couldn’t possibly burden Kylo, the love of my life, with sole responsibility for your care,” Rey said lightly. “If you sleep through one too many mealtimes he might start eating you.”

Ben was eating carefully, almost mechanically, as if doing so more for her benefit than his own. “You’ll get sick.”

“Nah.” 

He narrowed his eyes, staring at her over the table. “If you get sick I’m going to bring Kylo over to your trailer and let him pin you to the bed while I pour soup down your throat.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Ben.”

He huffed a laugh which turned into a cough, and she made a mental note to be careful with jokes for the next few days.

Ben’s feet hung over the edge of the futon when she finally managed to coax him into laying down, but when he curled up on his side he fit. Mostly. 

“Are you comfortable?” she asked worriedly after layering blankets over him, kneeling on the slim slice of floor remaining. The arrangement didn’t look particularly comfortable, and she briefly regretted not having an actual bed herself. She could have hauled him to her own home and tucked him in, if that were the case, and then let Kylo loose to explore her somewhat larger space. 

“M’fine.” Ben caught her wrist, drawing her hand close enough to brush a clumsy kiss over her fingers as his eyes closed. Realization swelled within her, total and confounding and in many ways unwelcome. “Sweet.”

“Not really,” she whispered, throat tight, tugging her wrist free from his loosening grip. “Sleep well, Ben.”

On the small porch, his door locked behind her, Rey took in a shuddering breath as the cold crept through her socks and clothing.

She loved him. 

Actually loved him. 

Not-a-crush, not-merely-lust, more-than-a-friend loved him.

 _He’s going to devastate me,_ she thought in an almost matter-of-fact manner, and trudged back home. 

\- - -

Rey did not get sick.

Ben, however, disappeared the next day with only an uncharacteristically unpunctuated text asking her to take care of Kylo. “I called his mother,” Maz explained when Rey saw her Thanksgiving morning. “We’re old friends.”

News to Rey, but she was relieved that Ben hadn’t simply wandered out into the night in a feverish daze. The first day she put his home to rights, holiday be damned, hauling blankets and sheets to the unsurprisingly empty communal laundry room so that he wouldn’t have to deal with the chore himself. With the bed freshly made and everything tidied, she devoted herself to caring for Kylo, who followed her around like her own personal second shadow. They watched movies, mainly- or she did, on Ben’s television, her lap overflowing with cat. Thursday and Friday and Saturday she did everything but sleep and shower in the home, though Kylo’s plaintive mews tested that resolve every night. 

Sunday, though- Sunday she looked out her window just in time to see Ben standing beside an idling SUV, a duffel bag slung over one shoulder as he listened to whatever the driver was saying. A minute more and a wave and he was headed inside, the vehicle driving away. 

Ten minutes later, a series of texts:

**Thank you**

**You didn’t have to clean**

**But I appreciate it**

Not quite Ben’s usual proper, fully thought out sentences, but a definite improvement. She replied with **there’s pudding in the fridge. kylo has a list of complaints**

Three dots. **How much do I owe you?**

Rey scowled. **hand me cash for this and i will NEVER speak to you again**

Three dots for nearly a minute straight, and then a simple **Okay.**

And that was that.

\- - -

“My father built this place.”

The confession came out of nowhere as they were halfway through a large pizza, a not-yet-winter wintry mix spattering against the windows. _Scrooged_ was playing on the screen, though more as background noise than anything else. 

Something of her prior knowledge must have shown on her face. “You knew.”

Ben didn’t sound angry, or even annoyed- he sounded, instead, a little relieved. Rey tamped down her own relief, explaining, “A friend recognized your house and showed me the instagram feed.”

“Janna’s idea.” He nodded, taking another bite of his slice while Rey bit back the question _who’s Janna?_ “He built the first one for her; discovered he liked the challenge. That was the end of his so-called retirement.” Ben smiled slightly. “I wasn’t that surprised, when I found out. He was never the type to just sit around.”

Rey had eventually gone back to examine the other homes Han had built, and had been amazed by the variety. Some streamlined, some fussy; some equipped to run off the grid and some meant only to be hooked into city utilities. One, built from two old shipping containers, had been the picture of luxurious living in miniature. “He was very talented.”

“He was,” Ben agreed, a tinge of sorrow in his voice. “He… he really, really was.”

They said nothing for a few minutes, both- Rey suspected- continuing to eat more for form’s sake than out of any real hunger. Her gaze slid guilty to the countertop as she considered whether or not to apologize, and he must have caught the look because he shook his head. 

“I did botch it.” Another confession, this one quieter. He dropped what was left of his slice to his plate. “You were right.”

“Ben-”

“It had been years since I had last done that kind of work, and I was… I wasn’t in the mood to be patient.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

A blend of complicated, unreadable emotion passed over his face. “He would hate it.”

Without quite thinking she scooted closer. “You did your best, Ben. Surely he would understand.”

“Maybe.” The whispered word was almost a little bleak, and she searched her mind for something else to say that would make him feel better- but then an arm was wrapping around her shoulders, warm and solid. “Thank you, Sweetheart,” Ben murmured, lips against her hair. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Her heart fluttered, an unbidden “You don’t have to find out” spilling into the air before she could recall the words. His embrace tightened, only to relax seconds later when he set a little distance between them. Not a lot; just enough to turn what had been intimate into something more casual: hips and thighs nearly touching; his arm on the back of the couch, fingertips barely brushing one shoulder. 

When Kylo stole an unguarded pizza crust, neither of them made an attempt to move.


	4. winter (part one)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So due to a certain event this week (I will face JJ Abrams and walk backward into hell, etc), the 'winter' portion turned out to be a heck of a lot longer and fluffier than expected, so it will be posted in two parts. I'm hoping to have the next part up around Christmas.
> 
> Thank you all so much for coming on this detour with me- I'll be back at Count the Rings once this story is done, I promise.

“No, I’m sorry, ‘White Wine in the Sun’ is the best secular Christmas song ever written.”

“But not exactly suited to singing around a piano with your loved ones.” Rey snagged her mug of hot chocolate from the minuscule table next to the couch, doing her best not to move her lower body and not quite succeeding. Kylo, sprawled across her lap, cracked his eyes open to glare at her. 

Over at the stove Ben cast her a dryly amused look. “No one does that outside of movies.”

“No one?”

“Maybe _some_ people.” He sounded a little doubtful, but willing to humor her. “Not in my family.” 

He opened the metal press balanced on one lit burner and carefully lifted free another fragrant cardamom-scented disk, rolling it with practiced motions around a wooden spindle. The resulting cookie was placed to the side with its brethren, and the entire process started all over again.

“What did your family do, then?”

A loaded question, given Ben’s usual reticence to talk about anything family-related, but he didn’t seem to mind. Instead he tilted his head a little to the side in thought, eyes fixed on his work. “Kind of depended on the year. When my maternal grandmother was alive we usually spent them with her, in Varykino. Those were the best ones.” Even in profile she could see the tic in his jaw. “She had a way of making everyone… peaceable. Happy. After she died the holiday was no longer quite so bright.”

“She sounds lovely.”

“She was.” He smiled a little. “On Christmas morning she would make these cookies, usually with me standing next to her on a stool. We would eat half of them before anyone else was awake.” Ben cast her a look that was almost sheepish. “After she died I stole this iron from the kitchen and hid it in my backpack.”

Rey had to grin, at that. “ _Ben_.”

“I was eight.”

She could vaguely imagine the scene: a gangly, dark-haired boy tiptoeing over tile, rummaging through cabinets in the middle of the night. “It sounds like she would have approved.”

“Probably.” He lifted another cookie free and rolled it with a few deft movements. “No one ever said anything, so apparently I got away with my crime.”

“The statute of limitations has probably passed; I won’t bother reporting you.”

“The one worry I had; my thanks.” Ben slid a glance her way, and she could guess exactly what he was thinking: should he ask? Should he keep quiet? 

Because she never talked about her family, or lack thereof. Rey made a practice of silence, of keeping that subject close to the vest. Finn knew, but it had taken her two years to tell him the bare minimum. It startled Rey, a little, to realize that she wanted to tell Ben more. 

“I grew up in foster care.”

Ben stilled, one hand outstretched to pick up the measuring cup of batter- and then he turned off the burner and stepped away, leaning against the countertop he himself had finished. 

“My parents left me outside of a junkyard when I was only a few months old.” Rey stroked Kylo from head to tail, taking comfort in the solid, warm bulk of him in her lap. “In the middle of winter, no less. Probably would have frozen to death if a resident feral cat hadn’t decided to curl up in the basket with me.”

She smiled crookedly, scratching delicately under Kylo’s chin. “You know, the police report didn’t say a damn thing about what happened to that cat. I like to think that someone adopted it, and that it spent the rest of its life eating salmon on a velvet chaise lounge.”

“Would have deserved it.” Ben’s voice sounded rough, as if he were on the edge of tears.

“I just kind of bounced around the system for a while, until I ended up in Jakku. That situation wasn’t great, so the minute I was both eighteen and had the money I was on a bus out of town.” 

Kylo stood, stretching, and jumped off her lap, leaving Rey cold. She pulled her knees up to her chest, socked feet balancing on the edge of the couch. “And Teedo hired me because he and Plutt got into a bar fight once-”

Ben had his arms crossed over his chest, and the hand nearest her clenched into a fist. 

“-so it amused him to employ Unkar’s ward-slash-former employee.” Rey eyed him, regretting puncturing their cozy Christmas Eve afternoon even as she was glad to have the confession off her chest. “So. You know. A family Christmas is this kind of mythical thing.”

For a long moment he did nothing, and then he was turning toward the fridge and pulling out a piping bag. He filled one cookie with something white and creamy before holding it out to her. Rey blinked, not averse to the offering, but-

“You made those for tomorrow.”

He sat heavily on the couch, the cookie still held between three fingers. “My mother hates cardamom; I made them for us.” 

So she took it, crunching into lacy cardamom shell and vanilla whipped cream, toes curling in quiet pleasure. His hand landed softly, sweetly, on the back of her head, fingers slipping into her hair as he murmured, “Come home with me tomorrow.”

Rey ate another bite, licking stray drops of cream from her lips. “Your mother won’t mind?”

Ben huffed a laugh, fingers curling so that his knuckles brushed over the nape of her neck. “She’ll probably size you for my grandmother’s wedding ring.”

Wistful. Hopeful. She answered in whispered kind. “Would that be so bad?”

There was what felt to her like an odd stretching of time, as seconds and possibly minutes became obsolete concepts, leaving only the pair of them sitting together with crumbs on Rey’s lap. His breath ruffled her hair, his lips brushed over her temple- and then Kylo prepared himself to spring for the cookie-laden counter and Ben bolted forward, grabbing for his erstwhile pet seconds too late. 

Everything- cookies, batter, thoughts- was kind of scattered after that.

\- - -

Her childhood was instrumental in teaching Rey to sleep lightly, so when a fist pounded on her door in the middle of the night she fell on her ass off the couch, tangled in blankets. Cursing, she dragged herself free, and would have grabbed for the walking stick if it hadn’t been for the familiar voice that accompanied the next knock. 

Ben. Ben calling her name, and as she scrambled for the door she thought of failed heating units and Kylo getting into chicken bones and a number of other possible emergencies, and opened her door to his bare chest. 

Which was a Christmas miracle all in itself, a part of Rey was happy to note. 

“What did you mean by ‘would that be so bad’?” he demanded, hands pressed to either side of her door, and then he looked over her shoulder at the blanket-covered couch. “Why are you sleeping in the living room?”

She couldn’t quite tear her gaze away from his chest, and answered in a somewhat disengaged tone. “I always do.”

“What-”

He broke off, taking in a breath, and the sight was… fascinating. All-consuming. Pretty damn revelatory, really. She shifted her gaze slightly to the side, taking in the tattoo encircling one bicep: surprisingly fragile-looking black vines bearing delicate, starry flowers. 

“You, uh, should probably put on a shirt.” Rey finally managed to look up, meeting his eyes. “It’s cold.”

She would volunteer to warm him up, but-

“ _Rey._ ” 

But he was already annoyed, and that would violate her personal vow. “It’s, what, three am? Go back to bed.”

Ben leaned in, and she realized that she had been wrong: he wasn’t annoyed. He looked closer to desperate.

“Would you like a ring, Rey?” Ben asked, voice low and soft. “Or was that a joke? Because I-”

He swallowed, fingers white-knuckling around her door-frame. “-I would love to give you one.”

There was a lump in her throat, maybe even an honest-to-God boulder, stopping her from taking in a full breath and really processing his offer. His words were just a jumble of nonsense, and she was probably still dreaming, and-

And he let go of the door and curved his hands over her shoulders, bending close enough that their foreheads almost touched. “I’ve been in love with you for months.”

Cold wind and the warmth of his hands and _I’ve been in love with you for months._

_I’ve been in love with you for months._

“ _You have not._ ” She spat the words out, inexplicably furious. “You want to be _friends._ ”

Ben didn’t wince, not exactly. He actually looked a little befuddled until he didn’t, and whatever realization he came to softened the tense set of his shoulders into a gentle curve. “Rey.” Low and sweet and infused with so much hope she didn’t dare turn away. “ _Rey._ ”

“There we were, eating fucking _brie_ while Kylo complained-”

His thumbs slipped under the neckline of her sweatshirt, caressing her skin, and she briefly stammered. “-and- and you said we were friends.”

“Because I belatedly realized I had set up some cliched seduction scene and-”

“A cliched seduction scene with a demanding cat?”

He smiled crookedly, worriedly. “And I didn’t want to pressure you.”

Rey pushed him back and shut the door in his face.

She opened it five seconds later. “ _Pressure_ me?”

“Kylo clearly has you in his sway, so-”

She shut the door again, leaning back against it.

“I felt like a creep, Rey,” she heard him say seriously through the metal and plastic. “I- I over-think things, sometimes, and suddenly I couldn’t stop worrying that you would think I had been friendly just for a chance to get you into bed while tipsy on wine from Margaux.”

Anger drained away. 

“I loved you too much to lose you.” There was a pause, and then he spoke so softly she had to strain to hear. “I still do, I just… couldn’t sleep.”

And she couldn’t move. Could barely breathe as she tried to process this declaration of love that she had never expected to receive- and she must have lingered too long, because she heard the scrape of his shoes against her steps and the crunch as he walked away over gravel. In a burst of speed she was out the door, throwing herself after him into the cold. She nearly tripped on the bottom step, one foot landing in an icy puddle.

She was off her feet a second later, cradled in his arms as he stared at her with an expression that was a blend of awe and consternation. “You should have put on shoes.”

“You were walking away.”

“I’m not wearing a shirt and it’s snowing.”

And it was. Rey hadn’t even noticed, hadn’t even taken a look at the forecast. Snowflakes, thick and lazy, caught on his hair as he kept her close. 

Ben took in a breath, gaze flicking briefly to her mouth. “My place is warmer.”

She snatched at a reason not to separate with barely a thought. “Okay.”

Other than letting her down long enough to fetch her keys and secure the locks, Rey’s feet didn’t touch the ground until they reached his porch. 

\- - -

“Don’t I get a kiss?”

“Socks, first,” he said implacably, digging through the cabinet where he kept his clothing. Kylo, perched behind Rey on the couch with the air of a sleepy gargoyle, grumbled at this disruption of his routine. 

“Ben-”

“Socks.” He stood, a neatly folded pair in one hand. “Because you stepped in cold water-”

Ben knelt in front of her, the sight so uncannily close to some of her fantasies that her breathing quickened. 

“-and I want you to be warm.”

Someone switching out her socks should not be so damn sexy, but inexplicably it was. Maybe because his hands were touching her bare skin, or maybe because it was a level of care she had never received from anyone else, or maybe because those were Ben’s socks swamping her entirely average-sized feet- but whatever the reason, she loved it. 

“Was that an actual proposal of marriage?”

He was still on his knees, and at her question he shuffled forward a little, fingers curling around her ankles. “Yes.” There wasn’t even a hint of reluctance or regret in his voice. “It was.”

“I-”

Rey paused, throat tight. “You want me to be your _wife._ ”

“Yes.” 

“You realize that’s a long-term commitment?”

Ben didn’t look amused by the question, even though she had defensively couched it in a joking tone. His hands slid away from her ankles and he crossed his arms over her knees, expression almost painfully earnest. “Yes.”

He was putting forth no attempt to sway her now, other than fresh socks and his own soft-eyed visage. She wanted to say _yes,_ wanted to claim her own little Christmas miracle, but the sleepy pre-dawn hours were not when good decisions were made. Better to make them clear-eyed in the light of day, better to make them when her potential mother-in-law wasn’t introduced to her one moment and asked for the ancestral ring in the next. 

“Could- could you ask again in the spring?” she asked tentatively. “If you still want me, then.”

Rey had expected disappointment, even argument, but to her surprise his mouth curved into a hopeful smile. “I will.”

As if she had given him a gift, instead of a cautious deferral. As if she had set a brick against a door, keeping it open for him- and she supposed she had. 

“There are a lot of things we should talk about.”

He stared up at her, still smiling. “Like children?”

She felt her cheeks heat with a blush. They had hit on religion, on politics during their meals, but never children. Why would they? “Yes. And… expectations.”

“About?”

“My role.”

“My work is almost all remote.” When Kylo thumped down beside her on the couch seat Ben shot him a glance, arms crowding her lap before the cat could come between them. “I think I would enjoy being a house-husband.”

And she could see it, oddly: coming home from a day of work to Ben in the kitchen of a home not quite so tiny, a toddler on his hip and Kylo sprawled over the floor. Being happy, wherever they were. “That,” she began slowly, “would be… something to talk about.”

She could find another job, with a dual income. She could go back to school. She could do practically anything- but looking at Ben, Rey knew that she would work at the salvage yard for the rest of her life if it meant being with the man in front of her. 

But she would wait for the daffodils to bloom. She _could_ wait for the daffodils to bloom, even if a part of her was screaming to grab everything he offered with both hands before it was snatched away. “Do you want me to go home?”

Presumably he hadn’t carried her through the snow just to give her clean socks and talk for less than five minutes, but this was new, uncharted territory for them both, and she didn’t want to accidentally step over an unknown boundary.

“No. I _want_ to strip you naked and make you come on my tongue.” The blunt, heated statement shocked her in the best possible way, making her realize that maybe- maybe- she hadn’t quite understood just how hungry Ben Solo could be. “But Kylo would insist on offering commentary, which is not quite how I envisioned our first time- and I didn’t knock on your door with that goal in mind, in any case.”

He shifted a little, eyes intent and focused on her in a way that promised as much pleasure as she could take, if not more, his coaxing voice in her ear the entire time, and in a somewhat stunned tone she said, “You want me.”

A hint of amusement, at that. “Why do you sound so surprised?”

“Because you’re…”

Rey tried to grasp for an adjective, mouth dry. “Sweet.” And she liked sweet- had never really experienced it, and loved it, with Ben- but she also loved this look on his face, as if he would be perfectly happy to fuck her and her alone silly for the rest of his days. As if he would be equally happy to bend to her whims as he would be to pin her hands above her head, his weight between her thighs. Where had he _hidden_ this facet of himself? How had she missed it? 

His expression gentled as she deliberated. The hunger was still there, but it was muted by patience and what she thought might be love. All that sweetness, all that softness- neither were a veneer, but bone-deep, and perfectly complemented by this surprising well-spring of desire. “I am tired,” she ventured, though she was nothing of the sort.

Ben stared at her, fingertips brushing over the outside of her thighs. 

“Maybe I could sleep here. With you.”

His smile was slow and hopeful. “You could.”

“Otherwise you’d have to carry me back home through the snow. You might get sick again.”

“That would be unfortunate.” 

When he moved his arms she stood, scurrying up into the loft ahead of him. 

Ben never had put on a shirt. He didn’t detour to do so before joining her, and the sight of him crawling bare-chested over the mattress to where she sat was so electric she _ached,_ nerves thrumming and thoughts racing. He didn’t look very composed himself, by the time he reached her. His arousal, pressed against the thin fabric of his sweatpants, was impossible to miss even in the low light of the loft. 

“Ben.” She whispered his name, unsure quite what else to say. When he took her hand, fingers warm against her skin, words tumbled free. “This feels like a dream. Like I’m going to wake up at home, alone, and the next time I see you…”

“No.” Ben shook his head, pulling her hand close to his chest. “You won’t wake up alone.”

There was a thump as Kylo sprang up into the loft, tail swishing as he eyed them coolly. “Is it past his bedtime?” she asked, leaning closer to Ben. 

“He doesn’t start begging for food until five, or thereabouts.” Ben pressed kisses to her knuckles, to the gently uncurled spread of her palm. “Sleeps until then.”

“We could turn off the lights. For Kylo.”

“For Kylo.” Ben looked at her in a way that was almost shy- a surprise, after his blatantness below, but closer to his usual bearing around her. She was feeling a little shy, herself. “Rey-”

“I’d like to kiss you.” She hadn’t yet, after all, and here she was sitting on his bed under a skylight slowly layering over with snow, her hand in his. “Please.”

They both moved at the same time, knees bumping, the grin on his face likely a twin to her own. His free hand slipped into her hair, the tip of his nose brushing against hers until she made the decisive move, closing the gap between them. 

His mouth was just as delicious to kiss as she had thought from day one, and yet better. The knowledge of _Ben_ in conjunction with those lips, the soft sound he made when her tongue tentatively met his, the way he dragged her onto her lap as the kiss deepened- she had never imagined any of that. Not well enough, never well enough. Dreams had turned to flesh and blood, and flesh and blood was so much better than dreams ever could have been. 

It would have been easy for him- or her- to take advantage of their mutual desire, to press the boundaries farther than initially set, but they both carefully toed the line. Ben pulled back first, him starry-eyed and her breathless, and then he was moving blankets and sheets and pushing her back onto the pillows, tugging the covers up to her chin. 

“Are you warm enough?”

She wasn’t sure she had ever been so cozy in her life. He was curled up behind her, an arm secure around her waist, and even if she still _wanted_ the press of his erection against her was a reminder that they were equal, there. “Yes.”

“Rey.” His nose nuzzled into her hair, fingers brushing over the material of her sweatshirt. “Sleep, love.”

She did, eventually, Kylo’s bulk sprawled over her feet and Ben’s breath warming the back of her neck, and she dreamed of a bed without a ladder and strong fingers slipping small pearl buttons from silk loops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. 'White Wine in the Sun' by Tim Minchin is an amazing song.
> 
> 2\. Ben is making krumkaka in the first scene.
> 
> 3\. Ben is absolutely parched.


	5. winter (part two)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm behind replying to comments, but I wanted to get this up before the end of the day. Thank you all for reading, and I hope you enjoy this fluff.

Something soft and a little sharp patted her face just under one eye. Rey- still in that liminal state between sleep and drowse- flinched, defensively rolling away to hide against a warm, solid wall. 

_Nice,_ came the thought as she snuggled in. The wall surrounded her, wrapping around her back and tangling with her legs, rising and falling gently against her cheek. 

“Leave Rey alone.” A firm, sleepy murmur. “We want her to stay, and your wake-up calls might convince her otherwise.”

A tug at her hair. Slowly but surely memory surfaced, reminding her exactly where she was: Ben’s bed, tucked against Ben himself, who was rubbing her back in lazy, soothing circles. 

“It wasn’t a dream.” Her voice came out rough-edged from fatigue, muffled from being spoken against his chest. Kylo- that had to be Kylo- pawed at her hair again. “You still aren’t wearing a shirt.”

“Do you want me to put one on?”

“Never.” When he laughed, a low rumble that shivered through her, she nuzzled her nose against his skin. She could feel him pressed hard and heavy against her belly, but he didn’t make any effort to attend to his own need. He simply held her securely, hands gentle- though as Rey remembered more of just a few hours before, she thought there may well be many mornings when he pressed her into the sheets and settled between her thighs, with her permission and with a firmly shut door. 

“I’m glad you stayed.” His fingertips found the strip of bare skin between her leggings and rucked-up sweatshirt, and he began to draw swirling, abstract patterns against her lower back that coaxed a contented sigh from her lips. “Though I do apologize for waking you up in the middle of the night.”

“Don’t you dare. If you hadn’t we’d have just… just kept on as we were.” 

“I would have broken eventually.”

“But then we wouldn’t have had this.” Another tug at her hair, causing her to snort with drowsy amusement. “How do you ever get any sleep?”

“I don’t.”

Rey was quiet, eyes still closed as she did her best to memorize this moment. The feel of him, the heat of him… and then she opened her eyes, smiling at the bit of his chest she could see just an inch or two away. Kylo must have let them sleep a few more hours than usual, because early-morning light filled the loft, diffused by the layer of snow on the skylight. It was the kind of morning that was meant for soft words and cuddling, but-

“ _Mrow_.”

But Kylo wouldn’t give them a moment more peace than he already had. Ben sighed, hand briefly flattening before he pulled away. “Coffee?” he offered. “I could make pancakes.”

“Please.” She rolled onto her back, one arm tucked under her head as she watched his muscles flex as he crawled away, cat following. “Ben.”

“Hmm?”

“You’re remarkably handsome.”

He looked back at her, cheeks blushing pink. “Is that so?”

“I’ve thought so since the first day I saw you.”

Ben stayed where he was, kneeling at the end of the mattress. A slow smile spread over his face. “Have you been lusting after me, Rey?”

Her turn to blush, at that, but she answered easily enough. “Hard.”

Kylo sat at the end of the loft, glaring at them both impartially.

“But then I fell in love with you, and-”

And she realized in that moment, as his gaze intensified and he moved quickly back to her, that she had never plainly expressed her own feelings aloud. Ben had laid himself emotionally bare and she had allowed herself to be swept away, befuddled and overjoyed. Now, with him hovering over her on his hands and knees, Rey licked her lips and reached up to cup his cheek. “I love you, Ben.”

He stared at her as if she were every star in the sky, every flowering bloom in every field. “You love me.”

Awe, a tinge of disbelief- and the latter, Rey decided, had no place in Ben’s voice. He would never again doubt her love for him, if she had anything to say about it. “I love you, and I want you… and pining over you hurt so much.”

“Rey.” He breathed her name, eyes closing briefly as relief suffused his expression. “It was misery for me, too.”

“I kept preparing myself for the day you moved away and just… stopped calling.” Tears pricked at her eyelids, and as she unfolded her curled arm he settled over her, carefully keeping most of his weight balanced on his forearms. “I’m glad you woke me up.”

“Oh, Rey,” he murmured, pressing kisses to her cheeks, her forehead, the bridge of her nose. “Don’t cry, love.”

“I’ll cry if I want to,” she sniffled, not having much of a choice in the matter. What point was there in ironclad control? She was in Ben’s bed, in his arms, his hair brushing over her face. If there was anyone she could be open around, it was him. 

“You’re right.” He kissed her lingeringly, gently nipping at her lower lip when he pulled away. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“I just-”

Rey paused, fingers slipping into his hair. “I never thought I would have a family. I never thought anyone would want to be my family.”

“I do.”

“I know.” And it still made her breathless. “I love you so much. I want to make you happy.”

A tear slipped down his own cheek, splashing against her thumb. “You do.”

Kylo yowled, irritated and insistent, and knocked a book from the loft with a decisive swat. They both began to laugh a little wildly, Ben dropping his head to the pillow beside her. “Where would we be without him?” he muttered as his shoulders shook. 

“Having desperate, emotional sex, most likely.” When he pulled back to half-heartedly glare at her, one side of his mouth crooking up, Rey raised herself enough to kiss that upturned corner. “Go placate the beast,” she encouraged softly. “We have time to cry all over each other, now.”

“We do.” A quick kiss and a long look, and then he was rolling off of her with an expression of regret. “I’m coming, tyrant.”

And Rey took a moment to settle, to swipe her sleeve over her wet cheeks, and- finally- to smile. 

\- - -

“I could be sick again.”

“Ben, you are the picture of health.” 

“Sick with love.” He pulled her into a kiss that tasted of maple syrup, arms tight around her back. “We could cuddle up under a blanket on the couch, watch movies…”

“And leave your mother alone on Christmas?” As much as Rey liked the idea of Ben all to herself in these new, early hours of their relationship, she had no intention of starting everything off by alienating his remaining parent. “The roads are clear; we have to go.” She paused, gaze drifting to the vee of skin revealed by the unbuttoned henley he had tugged on before cooking. “Or you do. Did you ever tell her I was coming?”

“I sent her a text, yesterday, while I was obsessing over what ‘would that be so bad’ meant.” He sounded as if he were smiling, and when she looked up she found that he was. “Her answer was ‘finally’.”

Rey blinked. “She knows about me?”

“I may have been mentioning you on a regular basis ever since the catio.” His smile shifted to something almost sheepish. “I was only half-joking about her pulling out Grandma’s ring- I have this vague, feverish memory of her offering it to me last month. ‘For your Rey’.”

_Your Rey._

Warm with the words, she lifted to her toes to kiss him again. “I am your Rey,” she murmured against his mouth. “And we’re not abandoning your mother.”

Ben chuckled quietly, pulling away with a final stroke of his hand down her back. “Okay, sweetheart.”

“Though I am a little scared.”

Leia could hate her, after all. _Your Rey_ could shift to _please reconsider_ in the course of an afternoon, and maybe Ben would listen and maybe he wouldn’t, but-

 _But I’m terrified,_ Rey realized, sick. _Not a little scared, but terrified._ Leia’s approval wasn’t necessary, but the thought of potentially spending her life with a man whose mother hated her- it would be hell. 

“You don’t need to be scared.” Ben cupped her face in his hands, expression soft. “She’s going to love you.”

“You once told me that your mother was the most feared lawyer in this half of the state.”

“Just because she routinely ate opposing counsel alive in front of a jury doesn’t mean she’ll do the same to you.” 

“That’s not reassuring.” A new thought struck her. “What should I _wear?_ ”

“Jeans and a sweater would be fine.” When she raised a skeptical brow he smiled, sweeping his thumbs over her cheeks. “That’s what I’m going to wear.”

“Okay.” Rey took in a deep breath. “Okay.”

She would need a shower, and her own toothbrush, and the nicest pair of jeans she owned- all of which, of course, were a walk away. 

“This is a new development.” Maz grinned at them from her doorway, snow neatly and recently swept from her steps. “Christmas looks to be going well.”

Rey, ensconced in Ben’s arms, shrugged. “I don’t have any shoes.”

“Inquiring minds might ask how you got all the way to his home without them.”

“Pretty much the same way I’m leaving.”

Ben huffed a laugh, cheeks bright red. “Merry Christmas, Maz.”

Rey could still hear her chuckling when they reached the door of the trailer, and knew she would be in for some good-natured teasing in the days to come. “You can go back home,” she told Ben when he finally put her down inside. “I’ll be there in a half-hour or so.”

He nodded, but his hands skimmed down her sides to clasp around her waist. “Maybe I’m hoping for a glimpse of you in a towel.”

When he bent to kiss the crook of her neck she shivered, tilting her head to give him better access. “Ben, we need to get ready.”

“Uh-huh.” He didn’t move an inch, mouth and tongue busy as his hands pulled her closer. Even when she had barely known him Rey had never imagined quite this level of intensity, and was delighted to be surprised- though if he kept it up, they would be late for lunch.

“Are you always like this, with…?”

“No.” Ben finally pulled back, looking neither surprised nor affronted by her question. “Just with you.” His hands slipped away from her. “Only with you.”

As if he had every intention of embarking on a lifelong study of what pleased her in bed, one orgasm at a time, and was eager to get started on his research- which, given Rey’s desire to see him relaxed and utterly sated, dovetailed neatly with her own plans. 

Still. 

They couldn’t be like this, around his mother. 

“Go home,” she said firmly, taking a step back. “I’ll see you soon.”

He set a hand on the doorknob, smile soft. “All right, Rey.”

And he left her alone- but only for a little while. 

\- - -

Her nerves only grew as they drove up to a picture-perfect home, windows glowing with light and a wreath on the door. “Don’t worry,” Ben murmured as he parked. “Everything will be fine.”

He sounded confident enough, but Rey wasn’t quite so sure. Exiting the car, she smoothed her hands down her coat, hoping her best sweater would pass muster. “Any advice?”

“No more than one glass of eggnog; she spikes with a heavy hand.”

“Right.”

The locks snapped open almost immediately after his knock, as if they had beaten his mother to the door by only seconds. Leia- shorter than Ben, shorter than Rey herself, her graying hair pinned into a coronet of braids- looked Rey straight in the eyes before anything else, gaze assessing… and smiled. A warm, glad smile that held no hint of disappointment, no hint that Rey might be anything other than entirely welcome. 

“It’s about time,” she said, touching Rey lightly on the shoulder. “Ben’s head over heels for you.”

“Mom.” Ben sounded a little embarrassed, but not displeased. 

“Come inside; we’ll have a drink and I’ll show you his baby photos.”

“Mom.”

“There’s one of him in only a diaper, absolutely covered in jam-”

“ _Mom._ ”

“Start with that one,” Rey said decisively, casting Ben a teasing smile as Leia drew her inside. “I would love to see it.”

By the end of the day, Rey- tipsy on eggnog and wine and laughter- knew two things for certain:

One, that she and Leia would get along absolutely fine. 

And two, that Ben Solo had been one of the cutest babies to ever grace the earth, despite his protests that he had been nothing of the sort. 

\- - -

It was odd, to go from friends to all but engaged in the space of a day. _Good_ odd, but odd nonetheless, and Rey wasn’t quite sure how to navigate the shift as days and weeks began to pass. 

She enjoyed it, though, that navigation. Sharing dinner with him nearly every night, sleeping beside him almost as often. Joking as they washed dishes, listening as he told her about his childhood and sharing her own in return. Muffling her cries against his shoulder as his fingers slipped inside of her, him crooning soft words into her hair. 

“We could,” he said one January night, “take a weekend trip. Ask Maz to catsit.”

Rey grinned, leaning back against what were now her pillows. “What, you don’t like the way Kylo is always staring at us when we fool around?”

“Being glared at by my cat for the sin of stealing your attention is getting old, yes.” Ben settled on his side, running a hand up her clothed thigh. “I think he’s jealous.”

“He remembers when I saved all my petting for him.” 

“He’s going to have to learn how to share,” Ben grumbled, and turned his head to kiss her palm when she reached out to stroke his hair. 

“It would be easier if we had a door,” she ventured after a moment, all teasing gone from her voice. “If- if we’re going to actually live together…”

“It would need to be somewhere else,” he finished, shifting closer to rest his head on her lap. “I know.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Ben stared up at her, a crease forming between his brows. “Rey, I never intended to spend the rest of my life in this house. I just… I just couldn’t sell it. _We_ couldn’t sell it, Mom and I, and my lease was almost up and… and it felt right, then. And it was right.” His smile was unexpected, and gentle. “Meeting you was the last gift my father ever gave me.”

“ _Oh._ ”

He sat up at her tiny, choked reply, wrapping his arms around her. “And I have an idea.”

She snuggled in, blinking away tears. “Hmm?” 

“My family is shit at selling places we’re emotionally attached to.” Ben must have taken her surprised laugh as encouragement, because he continued. “The people renting my grandmother’s house just moved, and my mother thought… that maybe we’d like it.” The offer was tentatively spoken, but she could hear the thread of yearning in his voice, as if he had already imagined the pair of them inhabiting those rooms and had set his heart on it. “We could set this place up around the back, as an office or a guest-house. There’s even a workshop in the basement you could use.”

And Rey thought on it, seriously. Varykino was only an hour away- close enough that she would still be able to see Rose and Finn, but far enough that she would need a new job. 

The latter, at least, wouldn’t be a hardship. 

“Could we visit, before I decide?”

“Maybe for a weekend?” She could tell that he was smiling against her hair. “The utilities are still on. We could bring an air mattress, camp in the living room…”

Rey broke into a grin, poking him in the chest with one finger. “All this talk of our first time needing to be perfect, all this messing around with our clothing still on, and now I find that you want to get me naked on an air mattress.”

“It would be a very _nice_ air mattress.”

“Ben, we’d probably pop a hole in it on night one.”

“I’m willing to do just about anything to get you onto a comfortable surface that isn’t your couch and doesn’t involve my cat swatting at my ass.” His tone turned coaxing as she laughed. “There’s a fireplace. I’ll start a fire, open champagne, even scatter the sheets with rose petals.”

“I’m allergic to roses, so not that.” Rey pulled back enough to meet his gaze. “The rest, though- the rest I’m up for.”

“Good.” A slow, deep kiss that made her toes curl, one hand slipping under her shirt to cup a breast. “Good.”

\- - -

The house sat above a lake, surrounded on three sides by trees. There was a dock, a tire swing in the front yard, a screened-in porch, and all of it snagged at Rey’s heart with a rapidity she hadn’t come close to expecting. A house, she had thought, was a house- but this was a _home._ Even as a chill wind swept off the lake, ruffling her hair, she couldn’t help but feel warmed. Welcomed. 

“What do you think?”

“I think… I think there’s nowhere else I’d rather be seduced on an air mattress.”

Ben hefted the first box of supplies- they had brought towels, bedding, food, dishes; everything they needed to live in an empty house for two days- without a single indication of how heavy it may or may not be. “I bought a very sturdy one.”

“Did you,” she teased.

“The reviews called it indestructible.”

“You’ll have to write one for us.” Rey picked up a box of her own, one so light it could only contain sheets and (maybe) the giant box of condoms she had caught a peek of that morning. Ben Solo had _plans,_ and she admired his ambition. “‘Four out of five stars-’”

“Only four?”

“I’m half-expecting the mattress to start on one side of the room and end up on the other.”

“Not sure that’s physically possible.” He was grinning, though, as he spoke, a mischievous spark in his eyes. “Continue.”

“‘-because while durable, after the third mutual ravishment between my girlfriend-’”

“Beloved.”

“‘-my beloved and I, her impeccable ass was resting on the floor.’”

He tilted his head, seeming to be considering her words far more seriously than he ought. “I bet we can ravish each other _at least_ four times before we have to re-inflate it.”

“I suppose we’ll see.”

So it was with laughter that they went inside, and with laughter that Rey saw, for the first time, the home she _knew_ her children would grow up in.

“ _Ben._ ”

He shifted the box under one arm, reaching out for her. “You like it?”

“I love it.” The sweep of the staircase, the stretch of the hall, the fireplace she could see inside the room to her left. The house wasn’t grand, was really closer to cozy, but Ben stood tall beside her, comfortable in the space. “You wouldn’t have to duck, here.”

“Or go through doors sideways,” he replied, the corners of his mouth quirking upward. 

“Or kneel in the shower.”

Ben’s smile grew, his hand running down her back- and then he bent and murmured in her ear, “I might still do that, occasionally.”

And she was… warm. Joyous. Not at the promise of pleasure, entirely, but at the idea of time and a family and Ben beside her every day, building a shared life together. 

_He looks so happy._

She thought the same, heart soft for him, as they unpacked their supplies, as they made up their bed. She thought the same as they cooked dinner in a kitchen with real counterspace, as he took every opportunity to draw her into a kiss. She thought the same when night had properly fallen and he undressed her in front of a crackling fire, fingertips skating over her skin and the slope of her breasts, dipping between her legs before his mouth replaced them. 

“Rey.” Her name, murmured, his whole heart evident in his eyes as he slid into her. 

The mattress survived the night.

Barely. 

\- - - 

Daffodils nodded in the early spring sun. 

“I told you,” Maz said smugly when Rey handed over her keys, light catching the diamond on her left hand. “Did I not?”

Rey couldn’t even pretend at annoyance, at that moment. “You did.”

“A ring before the year is out.” Maz reached up, patting Rey’s cheek, and then winked. “I think I’ll find someone for Kaydel, next.” 

And Rey- with a glance over her shoulder at Ben waiting by the car, Kylo yowling in his carrier and a breeze sweeping through her hair- Rey smiled. 

“Lucky, lucky Kaydel,” she told Maz with absolute honesty, and turned to walk toward her future.


End file.
